Looking back
If I look back to my post from June 2015, I can see that I've implemented some of the actions I proposed, and some have become irrelevant. I made a list then of the different elements in my life, and how I felt about them, and it feels useful to explore each one in turn now.
Work
Last year I was working in a different city. I'd spend four hours commuting on two days each week, and another two days working at home. I had Fridays off, but the job itself was changing and I was increasingly feeling stressed and dissatisfied.
In January this year I started a new job within walking distance of home. It's full time, but incredibly flexible, both in terms of hours and what I do. My colleagues are lovely, I'm a lot less stressed, and I have more control over my time. I had a pay rise, and I now work full time, meaning I've lost my free Fridays, but I have more money (which helps with our house moving goals), and I also have more holidays. Changing jobs was absolutely the right decision.
Support group
I still attend a meeting one evening each week, and I've just celebrated eleven years with the group. I have a mentor and am slowly working on some aspects of myself that I'd like to change. I'm careful not to take on too many 'service' commitments to the group, and this continues to be a source of comfort and strength to me.
Teenage group
This is related to the support group. We changed the frequency of the meetings from weekly to once a fortnight, and because of the rota system, I now attend around eight meetings each year, which is very manageable.
Allotment group
My decision to walk away from the allotment group was the right one, although I do miss the community, and I miss growing too, especially as I'm not doing much of that at home right now. One of the older ladies died recently, and I saw many allotment friends at the funeral and celebration of her life. It was good to see them again, and I will visit the allotment soon to see how they've progressed, but I won't be getting involved again.
Outside research
This is a research project I was involved with which sat outside of my paid job, and I never felt comfortable doing in work time, but resented doing in my own time. This problem has been solved now - my new job is more flexible and I work on this project during work time. The project has progressed and we have nearly finished our report. This feels like a success, and I'm a lot happier now it's not in my own time.
Running
At the time, I was training for various races, and running several times a week. I did a few races earlier this summer but since then, I've barely run at all. I am a member of the gym at work, and it fits better with my life to go there at lunchtime or the end of each day - tagging exercise onto the end of the working day like this means it's more likely to happen. I still walk for an hour to and from work each day, and often go for a walk or bike ride at the weekend, but exercise for fitness is, at the minute, confined to the gym. I'll run again one day, but not right now.
Music
I am a member of a local flute choir, which rehearses once a month. I still try to make these dates, but this has slipped down my priority list, and if I need to miss the session for a family visit, for example, then I will. I've also scaled back the number of performances I've committed to. I do want to do more music in the future, but it's not a priority right now.
Slimming club
I always hesitate to include this. I don't like the fact that I struggle with my weight, and feel like I should be able to manage it by myself. However, it seems I can't - and at the minute I'm struggling to manage even with going to the group each week. I eat for comfort a lot, and our house-related activities have left me in need of a lot of comfort. I'm only a stone or so over where I'd like to be, but I feel sluggish and unhealthy, and lacking in energy. However, spending an evening each week at this group doesn't seem to be helping.
Lately I have made some decisions and changes to make life feel more manageable.
- Set a deadline of when we'd like the house to be ready for sale (end of September)
- Made a list of all remaining house jobs and assigned them to weeks - we're crossing them off as we go along
- Spent a few evenings restoring order in the house - it's now possible to hoover, there's somewhere to hang washing, and we can have a shower without sharing the bath with painting equipment
It still feels like I have a way to go. Some days I'm calm and life feels good - other days life feels like it's spiralling out of control. I'd like to do a time log again like I did last year to see what's changed. I suspect I'll at least have increased the amount of time I'm spending on the house!